Lady Elaine Fairchild, where are you?

Up Yours, King Friday XIII
By Joseph Walther


I was talking to some of my friends last week who work for one of those outfits that believe in honoring employees with an annual event. In fact, senior management feels so strongly about it, that attendance is mandatory. Can you imagine being told to be there or else? This sounds like something good ole’ King Friday XIII, ruler supreme of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood of Make-Believe would have done. Of course, the down-to-earth, feisty Lady Elaine Fairchild would have told him to stuff it!

What possesses a CEO to designate one day out of a work-year as the day to set up a stump, climb onto it, and give a speech telling employees how important and appreciated they all are? This would not be necessary if management treated every employee every day as though he/she were important and appreciated. Sending a few emails or making a few phone calls or sending a few short letters thanking people for what they do for the organization would do wonders. It wouldn’t require “box lunches”, either.

King Friday XIII, as anyone with children knows, was a pompous megalomaniac who used his power to make himself feel important. Every organization has a King Friday XIII on its payroll. It isn’t always the CEO, but when it is, the situation can be untenable for all of the subordinates. Up to the level of senior management, the subordinates are defenseless against this kind of tyranny. They have no choice but to swallow some pride and go along. Even senior management goes along with it rather than risk losing some status and the associated perks. Unlike those in the lower echelon of the organization, however, senior management has no viable defense for a lack of action. They’re just wimps who lack the courage to make things right.

Lady Elaine Fairchild was the only person in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe who always refused to put up with King Friday’s pompous antics. She never hesitated to call him on his ego-generated unreasonable demands. She got away with it, too, because King Friday knew that she would have preferred being homeless and eating out of a dumpster than to have sold her soul to such an egocentric. Neither did it hurt her position one bit that she knew the location of every buried skeleton. Lady Elaine also knew that she could cause the bureaucracy more trouble than the bureaucracy could cause her. This is the reason she was so effective. It works every time. Every organization needs a Lady Elaine Fairchild, but very few are so fortunate.

People in power positions have an obligation not to be assholes. Good character and great management styles are things that people demonstrate, not announce. Perhaps we should require all such candidates to demonstrate their understanding of this before a promotion. A solid test of character is to observe the way such people treat those who cannot help them in political and/or career pursuits or how they treat subordinates who are unable to fight back. I have spent my entire life observing human nature. I learned a long time ago that security guards, custodial personnel, cafeteria workers, secretaries, grounds keepers, and the myriad of others who do the actual work are much more accurate appraisers of character and great management then all of the “management surveys” in the world, and these folks do not charge a humongous consulting fee, either.

Chief Executive Officers set a tone and direction for their respective organizations. This is what they are supposed to do. I have tried over the years to find an authoritative source that proclaims these individuals infallible. There is none. CEO’s make their share of mistakes, but it is not a character flaw to do so. Whenever they do, though, it is senior management’s job to call them on it, not execute an ostentatious bow and curtsey while chanting, “Correct as usual, Your Majesty.” But, this would take a down-to-earth, unassuming, and likeable Lady Elaine type of person and, as I said, there seems to be a dire shortage of them.

As scarce as they are, I have known a couple of great Lady Elaine types. In fact, I know one who is waiting in the wings for a chance to come forward. She has all of the qualifications. She is a Winner. Lady Elaine Fairchild, your subjects await you.

Joseph Walther is a freelance writer. Contact him by clicking on the CONTACT ME link above or email him at TheTrueFacts@comcast.net