DANGER! You may be stupid. Details at 11

Who You Callin’ Stupid?
By Joseph Walther


How does one begin? The material available for a column is limitless. In this past week alone from just the political arena, the amount of topic fodder has been overwhelming. Ecstasy is what it is, PURE ECSTASY! My hormones are raging and I am glassy-eyed with my own pleasure. I am on the verge of losing it, oh God, here it comes. YES! YES! Oh God YES!

Please forgive me, readers. It was just so intense. I couldn’t help myself. Let me get a couple of paper towels. As soon as I get this keyboard and monitor cleaned up, I’ll get right back on track. I just hope that, in God’s eyes, I have not committed a sin!

Ok, I’m back. Let me get started at the national level, with the U. S. Congress. (Motto: “Often wrong, always certain.”) Saint William of Frist, aka Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, is obviously not certain that he has made a dumb enough spectacle of himself. He has decided to take a couple of steps to eliminate any possible doubt relative to his stupidity.

First, he has threatened to eliminate the filibuster as a means to bottle-up Bush’s judicial nominees. The President had a total of ten of his first term judicial nominees held up in committee. The Whitehouse submitted the same ten names a second time, but the Democrats threatened to block them again. Bill thinks this is terrible. However, he fails to mention, probably due to selective memory, that the Republicans did the same thing to Bill Clinton. Now, the Democrats, being upset over Bill Frist’s threat, have now threatened to retaliate by shutting down the Senate, which, effectively, will shut down the federal government. I suggest that Dr. Frist talk with uncle Newty first. He’s an expert on this sort of thing, especially when it comes to the consequences of Federal employees not receiving paychecks when they are supposed to or social security recipients not receiving their checks on time.

Second, William decided to participate in a televised rally organized by the God People. The essence of the rally, called a “Justice Sunday”, is to get their favorite judicial nominees appointed on the premise that our courts reject people of faith. Perhaps the Islam dudes will make him an honorary Mullah, or even an Imam.

I cannot speak for the courts of this country, but I am about as sick as one can get with the self-righteous crap oozing from the religious right. When the Judicial Branch of the United States Government gets too far out of control and drunk with power, the people of this country will make their feelings known. We won’t need the Congress or the God People to do it for us.

Continuing with national issues let me say a few things about Saint Thomas of DeLay. The Democrats have accused him of having some l-o-b-b-i-e-s-t-s pay for some trips that he took. Now, he says that he didn’t do nothin’ wrong and so do the sir echoes in his party. I just don’t know WHAT to believe. Even though investigators have come up with some credit card receipts showing that the charges have merit, it could be a plot. Who’s to say that the democrats didn’t plant those receipts as part of a left wing conspiracy, for God’s sake? Let’s not be rash about this.

The Republicans also said that this goes on all of the time. They said that the Democrats do the same thing and pointed to Nancy Pelosi, House Minority Leader. I have no doubts that this is true. There is, however, a small technical detail at work here. Someone caught House Majority Leader Delay! We are not permitted to use the fact that everyone one else is speeding when we are pulled over for doing the same thing. Neither the police nor the judge in traffic court will buy any of it. I think you get the point. In addition, the Republicans need to stop blaming the Democrats for their own stupid stunts. Those who claim to follow the moral high ground have to follow those rules.

Moving on down to the local level here in Delaware politics, Leo Strine has been overwhelmingly reelected as Delaware’s GOP Chairman. Leo (personal motto: “Um, what?”), in an effort to demonstrate his unyielding alliance with stupidity, rambled on and on about… something! He proceeded to declare that Delaware is actually a “red” state. He explained this by telling an audience that New Castle County is a “blue” county and it presents an illusion to the whole country that Delaware is a “blue” State. He further declared that both Kent and Sussex counties are “red states” and that the GOP in New Castle County needs to emulate them in order to get Republicans elected.

Leo, Jethro Clampet of the Beverly Hillbillies would have accused you of not being very good at your ciphers. However, I’ll get to the numbers in just a couple of more lines. First off, the last time I checked, Kent and Sussex were counties within the State of Delaware. Delaware is a STATE, Leo, and it contains three counties: New Castle, Kent, and Sussex. New Castle County is up north; you know… the place with all the big cities, dirt, crime, sky-high population density, unbelievable traffic jams, and Lonnie George.

According to Delaware’s Department of Elections, the number of registered voters for the 2004 Primary Election totaled 411,444. The party breakdown was 177,399 Republicans and 234,045 Democrats. Try to follow this, Leo. A count of 234,045 is LARGER than a count of 177,399. We could even say that it is about 1.32 times larger. Another way of verbalizing this is to say that about 57% of the total number of registered Democrats plus Republicans is DEMOCRATS. It’s like this Leo. There are more Democrats than there are Republicans in Delaware. This is why Delaware is a “blue” state. Where the Democrats live means nothing.

Mr. Strine, I believe with all of my heart that everyone has a purpose in life. It looks as though yours is watching television. Keep dreaming of New Castle County emulating Kent and Sussex counties. Who knows, maybe the Easter Bunny will make it come true. However, you must always remember that Kent and Sussex are counties, not states.

I have been a duly registered Republican for 44-years. However, since the sacking of Washington, DC by the Newt Gingrich Gang, I have been ashamed of that fact. Locally, the terribly scary thing is that the Delaware GOP members overwhelmingly reelected Leo Strine. God, if you are out there, PLEASE help the Republican Party!

Finally, let me address one other issue for Delaware, the high school diploma debate. It has been going on since our General Assembly broached the topic of a three-tier diploma as a means of academic reform. Our governor agreed with this at first, but a member of her staff explained what it would mean. You see, she CAN read but you have to print real big and use little words.

Politicians react as cock roaches do whenever something happens to scare them. They scurry for the perceived security of darkness. They think that if they cover their eyes, the bogeyman won’t be able to see them and will go away. Herein is the problem with education reform in Delaware.

When I graduated from high school, it was before most members of our General Assembly were born. The minimum bar of achievement for graduation was set in accordance with what the standards experts thought to be minimally acceptable. The students who did not meet the standard did NOT graduate. Those who did meet it, received high school diplomas that meant something positive to everyone. Those who excelled in academic performance received the same diploma with the accolades of “Cum Laude” or “Summa Cum Laude” added to its text. This was a sign that these recipients worked their butts off.

Nowadays, the significance of a high school diploma varies. Possessing one today means that the holder either graduated or “was graduated”. Potential employers have to figure out which is which; and they are getting sick of doing so. Employers are not in the business of teaching. They will just idiot proof everything. It is why the cash registers in fast food stores have pictures instead of numbers.

The General Assembly scurries for the cover of darkness every time parents get upset with school reform. Additionally, some academic moron will inevitably be concerned for the low achievers’ self-esteem. In the real world, no one gives a hoot about anyone’s self-esteem. The General Assembly needs to reset the achievement bar to its height of yesteryear. School Boards need to make sure that the schools enforce the bar’s position.

Real achievement has meaning only because of the required hard work and the possibility of failure. Graduating from high school, like other hard-won victories, is worthy of praise. Think for a second. If high school coaches began to lower the basketball hoops so everyone could slam dunk, the ability to slam-dunk would be worthless. The NBA wouldn’t give it a second thought without any regard to an athlete’s self-esteem. This is not rocket science.

Well, there is a lot more to tackle but space and time have taken their toll. I’ll be back next week with more. I’ll try to get my excitement out of the way before I start typing, though.

Joe Walther is a freelance writer. You may contact him by clicking on CONTACT ME above or by email at Joe_Walther@comcast.net