Now you done it!

So, I’m to Blame?
By Joseph Walther

Occasionally, I like to share some of the email I receive because of this column. I intended to do so this week. However, this afternoon, I received a rather belated email from a reader concerning last week’s column on Pope John Paul II. I am going to respond to the concerns outlined in that email. I will do a “Do I get email” column next week.

Renaldo Severabaldo is a Roman Catholic Priest who represents a group of people concerned with too much liberalism within the Roman Catholic Church in the United States. The group calls itself Red Catholic Christians and one of its goals is to get God back into politics. I asked Father Severabaldo to send me some additional information relative to his group, since the group does not have a web site. Father Severabaldo’s email address is rev.renaldo.severabaldo@gmail.com, which is a legitimate account. Unfortunately, he does not go into a lot of detail as to his priestly role within the Roman Catholic Church. I did manage to link him to one of those obscure fanatical fringe gangs who complain incessantly about everything. While I cannot prove it yet, this organization seems to be another group of tight-assed puritans desperately afraid that someone, somewhere may be having a good time.

In addition to taking me to task for making fun of God in last week’s column, he felt that the conservative talk radio hosts are doing a great job of getting Christian principles, such as prayer back into the public school daily routine, on the table. He was livid and accused me of asking God to let Sean Hannity’s penis fall off. He also told me that I do not understand the way God thinks. “God does not afflict innocent children with horrible diseases. A sinful humanity does this”, he said. He suggested that if I wanted to blame someone for life’s misfortunes that I would do better to blame liberals, like myself, the secular humanists, and those who support the gay lifestyle.

Well, Padre, just for the record, I am not a liberal. I am a registered Republican. Granted, today’s Bush Republicans are a national embarrassment. I think the confusion stems from the fact that society calls these jerks “Republicans” when all that they are is stupid. There are a number of Democrats in the same boat. Generally, however, I would rather live next door to a MOVE member than one of these people.

You seem obsessed by Sean Hannity’s penis. Are you sure that you don’t have, shall we say, “personal” reasons for your concerns? I do not recall asking God to injure him in any way. Stating, as I did, that I didn’t think that anyone would mind if God let it happen, is not the same as asking for it to happen. Still, though, I’d give just about anything to see the expression on Hannity’s face if it did happen. That’d be a hoot and a half!

As for getting prayer back in public school, I have no problems with this at all. In fact, I’ll bet anything that more than one child has prayed, especially before a big math test. They do it silently, of course, because the ACLU would have a fit otherwise. You do realize, don’t you, that if the Christian children are permitted to pray, all of the other representative religious affiliations would have to be granted equal time? Please don’t tell me that you only want to give Christian children permission to pray in school!

The same holds true for religious symbols on display in public areas. If you want to put a Nativity scene in the Post Office, fine. Keep in mind, though, that the other religious affiliations will want to do likewise. It could get pretty crowed, making it difficult, if not impossible, to get to the stamp counter. Business would drop off dramatically and there would be another postal rate increase. Are you satisfied NOW?

You are correct when you tell me that I don’t understand how God thinks. Hell, I am not at all sure that God even exists. By your statement, though, you infer that you DO know how God thinks, if He exists at all. Of course, the utter arrogance of your inference goes right over your head. What an ego. You remind me of one of the local college presidents around these parts. He has an ego the size of Australia and a temper to match. If science ever discovers an actual center to the universe, he is going to be throwing a huge hissy fit when he finds out that he isn’t it. Your inference also solidifies my belief that the stupid are always so cock-sure while the intelligent are full of doubts.

First Falwell and Robertson blamed most of society’s ills on the gays and now you. What is the obsession you preachers have with homosexuality? You folks are protesting this stuff too loudly. It makes me wonder about you. Regardless, though, when it comes to gaining entry to heaven—if such exists—my money is on the gays.

Let me wrap this up by saying that I tend to believe that you are a self-appointed jerk with a compulsion to be Co-God. It seems to me that if God, as defined by you folks, gets too upset with the inhabitants of Earth, with a flick of his Bic, Earth would be space debris. What gives you the impression that He needs your help? You need to stop taking yourselves so seriously and get a life.

Joe Walther is a freelance writer. You may contact him by clicking on CONTACT ME above or by email at Joe_Walther@comcast.net