Are you an asshole, or just suffering from some form of disinhibition effect?

By Joseph Walther

 

All of us run into people we consider chronically unreflective. Of course, loads of us use the more popular technical term: “assholes.” I realize that “asshole” is an offensive term and countless people object to its use; but it works. It works because describing someone as “chronically unreflective” is so… you know, scientific. It exudes social mitigation. It evokes a sense of clinical pity that makes us say, “Oh, poor soul!” Conversely, all of us know an “asshole,” when we run into one.

 

            This isn’t about assholes per se, since we’re all assholes. I know; it’s shocking. Each one of us is someone else’s asshole. No matter what any of us does, somewhere, someone, or perhaps many, will declare that we’re an “asshole!” On the other hand, several readers sent me items this past week that demonstrate how seemingly logical it is to label some people as “assholes.”

 

            New York City has banned the use of the N-word. The name-calling began before the ink dried on the proclamation. “Stupid”, “liberal bullshit”, “do-gooder crap”, and “politically correct jerk offs” are a few of the terms used to describe the action AND the people behind it.

 

            It’s a waste of time to go into the proponents’ collective motivation behind taking this action. People might say that it’s chronically unreflective. So, I’m not going to do it. I think it was well intentioned, aimed at trying to ease some of the tremendously negative social tensions resulting from using harmful words.

 

            Here’s the problem, though. As soon as anyone uses the term, “N-word,” we know what it means. Calling a black person “N-word” instead of what “N-word” means, doesn’t accomplish anything, unless we include making ourselves look stupid. If banning words actually helped solve our social problems, our national vocabulary could well disappear.

 

            When my children were young, 7 and 5-years respectively, my son, the 7-year-old, accused his 5-year-old sister of using the “F-word.” I came close to blowing a head gasket, even before I found out that the “F-word” he meant was fart! Do you see how silly it can become?

 

            The point is that banning words does not ban the associated meaning of the banned words. It’s just a “feel good” exercise in social foolishness. It’s condescending to those we are trying to protect; and it provides rock-solid instances when the term, “assholes” fits the bill quite appropriately.

 

            Another reader sent me an article dealing with growing inhospitable attitudes encountered when trying to discuss social issues over the Internet. Yep, I checked and it seems to be happening with increasing frequency. I lost the link he sent me, but a great place to find examples is www.delawareonline.com. I’m sure there are others, just as bad as this one, in your specific neighborhoods.

 

            Click on any of the news items that permit readers’ comments and you will see what I mean. Many of these posts are sweeping generalizations, full of illiterate, vulgar, and sometimes-profane opinions based on nothing more than ingrained misinformed ideology. These people rant and rave unintelligently about issues and they do it in a manner that they’d never consider if they had to do it face to face. They’d be too afraid that someone might “punch their lights out.”

 

            Rest easy, however, some well-meaning twit with a Psychology degree has developed an explanation for such behavior. He calls it “Online Disinhibition Effect.” I am sure this malady will eventually show up as an attempted courtroom defense on behalf of the inevitable defendant who finds a way of going beyond verbal assault.

 

            What a gem of a term! It’s clinical; has all of the elements of political correctness; sounds medically sophisticated; and its meaning is so conveniently expandable to other areas of equally wayward behavior. Besides, since being an “asshole” is not a valid legal defense, it’s positively brilliant!

 

            In retrospect, this fantastic term helps us to understand how much we so viciously maligned poor Mel Gibson when he went on his drunken tirade against the Jews. He was NOT, in view of this term’s meaning and expandability, a drunken “asshole.” The poor guy was sick, a misdiagnosed multimillionaire locked tightly in the coils of a terrible condition called “Alcohol-induced Disinhibition Effect.” I’m so sorry, Mel. Where are my damn Kleenex?

 

            Several readers sent me clips from the Glenn Beck TV program on CNN. I’m not much of cable channel talking heads watcher. I have nothing against Mr. Beck. So, don’t send me hate mail. I made it a point to watch his show. As these shows go, his is one of the better ones. Even though I think he’s every bit as irritating and self-aggrandizing as some of the others, he’s one of the more talented ones. He seems to have researched his diatribe.

 

            Mr. Beck’s concern hinges on the negative impact of Sharia law on the United States as an off spin of a growing Muslim population within our borders. He does not condemn Muslims in general, just the extremists who advocate strict adherence to Sharia law. He related a story about a number of Muslim retail employees in Massachusetts who have refused to scan items at the cash register that they consider “evil” according to Sharia law.

 

            I researched this and it’s true. I can’t comment on its degree of seriousness because I don’t know if it’s serious. Some of these folks have sued to get their jobs back, claiming religious discrimination. The matter shouldn’t amount to anything worth worrying about.

 

            People, race and ethnicity notwithstanding, apply for jobs constantly. Potential employers present applicants with job descriptions that explain the tasks involved in performing the respective jobs. Assuming that job candidates meet the qualifications, that the job functions are legal, and that the qualified applicants agree to perform all of the job functions, the employers hire the applicants.

 

            An employer/employee relationship carries specific performance requirements for both sides. As long as the product lines are socially acceptable and legal, for sale purposes, employees are not free to refuse to sell them on religious grounds. If they do so, employers have a legal right to discipline them, including dismissal. It’s not religious discrimination, either. It’s not complicated. They may continue to practice their religious beliefs, but in another job.

 

            There may well be growing serious problem over Sharia law. I have not had the chance to research it as a potential threat to our way of life. However, this particular concern of Mr. Beck’s isn’t something that compels me to start depression therapy.

 

            I’ve learned a lot from my readers this past week. For example, when I was in my mid to late twenties, I had an insatiable taste and desire for beer. I could drink the stuff by the case and, sometimes, I did. Even though I may have been, occasionally, chronically unreflective, I swear I don’t remember it.

 

            Yes, I had disagreements with people, especially after about my second six-pack. People just seemed to have lost the ability to understand what I was saying for some reason. These people were, simply put, confused about my positions. However, I knew exactly what I was saying. Yes, there were also a few late-night episodes of me, in a dark bedroom, trying to take my dress pants off… over my head. But drunken asshole? Never!

 

            I’m 64-years old, now. I can count, on two hands, the number of beers I’ve had over the past 30-years or so. The older we get, the more reflective we become. I’m even willing to admit, at this point, that perhaps there may have been a time or two when I was not very intellectually swift and that I may have popped too many beer caps occasionally.

 

            However, the revelations over the past week make me feel better about myself. Thankfully, I was not a hopelessly stupid, drunken asshole. I was sick, suffering from a combination of chronic unreflectiveness effect and alcohol-induced disinhibition effect. I feel so much better about it, too. I just know that the label, Online Disinhibition Effect, does not apply to me! That would make me an asshole, wouldn’t it?

 

            Have a great week. Taxes are due soon, but screw it. Have a few beers, but watch out for those disinhibition effects!

 

Joseph Walther is a freelance writer and publisher of The True Facts. Copyright laws apply to all material on this site. Send your comments. Just click here.