Most people disagree with you, STUPID!

 

By Joseph Walther

 

In my opinion, the only thing dumber than making sweeping generalizations is making wide-sweeping generalizations. Relative to the number of people I’ve dealt with during my adult life, it seems to be a common thread for many. Early this past week, I listened as a man tried to make his case about illegal immigration. In fact, that conversation intrigued me so much that I spent much of the remainder of the week listening for other conversations revolving around generalizations. Here are a couple of them.

 

            First, I think illegal immigration is a serious problem in the United States. We have to solve it soon; so, I’m not trying to minimize it. However, having used the term, “illegal immigration,” even several times during a conversation, does not necessarily mean the discussion was about illegal immigration. This man proved it.

 

            “We have to do something about all the Mexicans running around this country.” These were the man’s exact words. He continued, “The stupid politicians are letting the illegal immigrants take over this country.” I acknowledged his concern for the problems we face as the result of illegal immigration. However, I wanted to know why he chose to single out the Mexicans. “Because the Mexicans are the ones causing all the trouble,” he said. I asked him to be more specific.

 

            “Ok, first they take jobs away from Americans. They live ten to fifteen in a room. When they are paid, they send their money back to their families and friends in Mexico. They don’t pay any taxes here, either. They have it made, they get all the benefits and none of the costs. They commit most of the crimes in the areas they live in, too. In fact, a friend of my daughter was raped by one three years ago.”

 

            I nodded and said, “I see. I just wanted you to clarify your position.” I walked away. This man was not worth the effort it would have taken to engage him in any kind of meaningful dialog about illegal immigration. This individual’s problem has nothing to do with illegal immigration; his problem is racism. He uses illegal immigration as a convenient excuse for venting it.

 

            Those who hate others merely because of their race are racists. And, it does not make a bit of difference whether it comes from Klu Klux Kan members, the NAACP, or any one of thousands of self-proclaimed racial supremists. Aside from a possibly factual exception that a Mexican raped his daughter’s friend, his statements constituted wide-sweeping, generalized, hate-filled bullshit! I’d feel much safer living next door to an illegal immigrant any day, than I would living next door to the likes of him.

 

            Moving on, the next incident occurred on Thursday, late afternoon. I had stopped at a local KFC—that’s a Kentucky Fried Chicken joint in case you’ve been in a comma for several years. I took my 3-piece, all white meat dinner, including sides of mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, an extra side of macaroni and cheese, my medium-sized Pepsi, and sat at one of the three open tables in the center of the restaurant.

 

            Within about 3-minutes, two middle-aged women (mid-40s to mid-50s) sat at the table next to mine. Each had also purchased 3-piece meals. However, their conversation got my attention, not their meals. It’s impossible, by the way, to ignore what people seated less than 3-feet from you have to say. On top of this, these women were not exactly whispering.

 

            Less than five-minutes after they started talking, I reached inside my pants pocket and turned on my highly sensitive video recorder. I sensed a classic in the making! Greta (about 5ft, 5in and about 190 pounds) and Bonnie (no more than 5ft, 2in, and weighing in at a lovable 220 pounds or more) were voicing their general disdain for men. Neither of them said one positive thing about men, either specifically or generally. Here’s some of their verbatim conversation, with the exception of a few minor edits for some profanity.

 

Greta: So how’s yer new boss?

Bonnie: He a shithead! I know he wants to have sex with me. He ain’t come out and said it, but I know it’s what he wants. It’s what all them assholes want!

Greta: Yeah, that’s all most men think about. You need to nip this stuff right in the bud, ya know. When I was married, I made my man work for his sex.

Bonnie: My ex was the same damn way. We weren’t married more ‘n two months before he was after the bitch upstairs.

Bonnie: We don’t need no f*!k’n men. I gotta vibrator that’s better’n any man I’ve ever slept with.

Greta: Most men think they’re God’s gift to women.

 

            This went on for another 2 or 3-minutes as I finished my meal. Finally, I stood up, smiled at them, and excused myself saying, “ a male chauvinist pig is now leaving the building.” Clueless, they looked at each other somewhat puzzled. They had no idea how silly their comments made them sound. And stupid to boot! Their entire conversation was comprised of sweeping, generalized crap. Although, there was one thing they said that is generally true to some extent. Keep reading to find out what.

 

            Men and women who generalize about “disgusting” opposite-sex behavior would do well to contemplate the source of the burrs buried deep inside their respective butts. They may well have created their own. Yes, men and women have some legitimate gripes about each other’s conduct some of the time. Many times, however, they are critical of each other’s gender differences. As a species, we didn’t provide these for ourselves; Mother Nature did it.

 

            As such, women do have a point relative to the male sex drive, though. However, it’s a gender difference. Men, compliments of Mother Nature, are wired for this. While it does not legitimize infidelity, it does explain some seemingly incessant need for sex. In fact, having known this all of these years, has made me stick, unyieldingly, to a sound sexual philosophy. I NEVER do anything I’d be embarrassed to explain to paramedics!

 

            Oh, this is for Bonnie and it’s critically important. Whatever you do, don’t take your vibrator to Alabama. One of my readers sent me a legitimate news article about it.

 

            The Alabama General Assembly banned sex toys in 1998 in the interest of preserving public morality—they mentioned vibrators specifically. Of course, the sex toy sellers appealed; but they lost. The Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the ban and released its ruling on… get this… VALENTINE’s Day.

 

            Oh, Alabamians I fear y’all may not yet have suffered the worst. Possibly, your state leaders underestimated how artificially low the vibrator has kept the divorce rate down therein ole’ Bamma. The rest of us await the outcome with anxious anticipation.

 

            Of course, Alabama’s teen pregnancy rate is still 25% higher than the rest of the nation, but they don’t mention this as a threat to public morality. Nor, I’m led to conclude, did several other serious social failings involving women’s health issues make the list, especially the ones concerning matters of sex education. Can you believe it? It’s OK to sell guns, but NOT dildos! It seems that Yahoo! is not just the name of an Internet search engine.

 

            I know I’m going to receive emails from a few man-hating, angry women. There’s nothing new about that. I’m also going to receive email from people against consuming fast food. This, too, has happened before. Mostly, they’re emaciated-looking health food freaks who are simply too frail to pick up something as heavy as a McDonalds Quarter Pounder. So let me conclude with this.

 

            Speaking for myself, if you’re a member of the female minority who find men to be generally disgusting, leave us men the hell alone, if humanly possible. I’ve never felt a compulsion to apologize for being born a male and I’m not going to start now.

 

            For all of you men AND women, who count yourselves among those who feel that fast food is disgustingly bad for you, I agree. It is. I don’t care, though. Any wimp can give up trans fat, but it takes a MAN to stand up to hopelessly clogged coronary arteries! Besides, KFC is tasty; it does not matter to me if it’s the nutritional equivalent of crack cocaine. Let me kill myself in peace. That is, after one last great romp in the hay, if you get my drift.

 

Have a great week. Be safe.

 

Joseph Walther is a freelance writer and publisher of The True Facts. Copyright laws apply to all material on this site. Send your comments. Just click here.