Damn! There's a war going on.

 

By Joseph Walther

 

There’s a nasty rumor that there is a war going on in Iraq. Admittedly, I’ve not paid as much attention to this as, perhaps, I should have been. What with all the stuff going on with Brittney Spears, Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Paris Hilton, the Golden Globes, the Oscars, the Donald Trump/Rosie O’Donnell feud, and a seemingly endless list of other socially critical things, I just have not had the time. Making matters worse, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles were in Philadelphia this past week. I’ve simply been too busy to worry about some annoying damn war thousands of miles away.

 

            So, in the interests of fairness and my unyielding desire to keep you, my readers, up to snuff on as much as I can, I decided to forgo watching the entertainment channel for the entire weekend so that I could do some checking on this Iraq—where ever the hell that is—war business.

 

            Oh my gawd! How long’s this crap been going on? I’ve simply lost track of things. I clearly remember George Bush invading the place to save us from terrorists. I specifically remember him standing on that aircraft carrier flight deck a few months later and saying, “Mission accomplished.” He looked pretty spiffy, too, all decked out in that leather flight jacket… that Alfred E. Neuman (What, me worry?) clueless sort of grin on his face. Regardless, he’s the President of the United States for gawd’s sake. I just took his word for it.

 

            Well, according to the grapevine, not only is a war raging in Iraq, things are not going well for our side; and a majority of Americans is none too happy about it. My anonymous sources also tell me that those angry Americans handed the Republican Party their asses in the mid-term election back in November because of it. I suspect, in view of the things I’ve found out, that this is true, even though I missed that election because I overslept.

 

            From what I can gather, everyone, except the axis of evil—George Bush, Dick Chaney, and Donald Rumsfeld—thinks we’re in the middle of a civil war. Hold on a second. Someone’s trying to get my attention by talking into my earplug… Um, it seems that Donald Rumsfeld is no longer part of the axis of evil. Some dude by the name of Robert Casey is in there now. Hold on, there’s more… Make that Robert Gates. Also, they’re telling me that George Bush, Dick Chaney, and Donald Rumsfeld have NEVER been part of the axis of evil. Iran, Iraq, and North Korea are the axis of evil.

 

            Look, axis of evil, shmaxis of evil, I don’t care. As far as I’m concerned, George Bush and Dick Chaney scare me a lot more than Iran, Iraq, and North Korea. I know that we should not be trusting Iran, Iraq, and North Korea. In fact, I think we should nuke them as soon as possible and blame it on Russia. George Bush and Dick Chaney, on the other hand, are supposed to be on our side. I’m beginning to wonder about it, though.

 

            So yes, there’s a war going on. As of January 26, 2007, the world has experienced over 3,300 coalition deaths, over 3,000 American deaths, over 23,000 Americans wounded, and between 55,000 and 61,000 Iraqi civilian deaths. We are worse off now than we were when we started the mess. We can debate whether it’s now a civil war all we want. The only thing that will change is the body count. It will continue to rise

 

            So, Mr. Bush wants to send more troops. He said 21,000 more troops. Hold on… my earplug has voices again. Oh, they’re telling me that Gates dude said that they’ll be a lot more than 21,000 before it’s all over. I don’t know where they heard this. Probably from the Internet, so, you know it has to be true. Here’s what I think.

 

            This country has a big problem on its hands. I don’t know why we invaded Iraq. Furthermore, I don’t care at this point. I didn’t think it was a very bright thing to do at the time we did it. But, we did it. The tragedy, however, has been the perpetual fact that Mr. George Bush and his band of merry men have been wrong at every turn since the war’s beginning. They are probably wrong now. As has been the case since the beginning, they cover their butts by blaming all failure: past, present, and future, on the war detractors because they “embolden” the terrorists. Of course, they never mention their own incompentence.

 

            I don’t know what the solution is. I know in my gut, though, that there is a good solution. Somewhere within our Congress—both sides of the isle—there are people with brains and open minds. We need to hear from these people. The media, both print and electronic, needs to stop worrying about ratings and stop pitting one side against another for the sake of controversy.

 

            The last Congress is just as liable for our present war woes as is the White House. The Republicans gave Mr. Bush carte blanche authority to do whatever he wanted. The Democrats just rolled over and played dead. The Republicans paid dearly for it last November during our mid-term elections. However, if the Democrats think that all they have to do is criticize, they’ll have just as rude an awakening in 2008. In fact, the Democrats had better rediscover whatever it is that they stand for and begin standing for it or they can kiss their party goodbye for good.

 

            There’s one more thing. I’ve heard some rather blustery “blood-n-guts” conservatives demean the daylights out of others—bleedin’ heart liberals, I think they call them—for voicing opposition against the war. I’ve always found that the chest-pounding gutsy types are brave as all get out as long as it’s somebody else’s blood.

 

            There are people who oppose this war for no other reason than their hatred for George Bush. This is a mistake. There have been myriad reasons for disliking George Bush long before this war. Others hate it because they hate all wars and think that nothing is worth a war. This is an even bigger mistake because the only rights and freedoms we have are those that we are both willing and able to defend, to the death if necessary. However, I don’t think Iraq qualifies in this respect. Others oppose it because they believe it was a mistake. Hussein the Horrible aside, they simply think it was ill advised to invade at the time and for the reasons given. They’re not traitors. They’re the loyal opposition.

 

            We don’t have to worry about car bombs and IEDs. We go about our days debating the mundane; flicking flyshit out of pepper, as it were. We don’t have to look at a fellow soldier’s eyeballs dangling against the sides of his bloodied, contorted face, or watch some Iraqi parent wailing uncontrollably over the goo that was, just a few seconds ago, a child. No, we’re safe. We can afford to concern ourselves with more important issues: gay marriages, whether Mel Gibson is anti-Semitic, whether Michael Richards is a racist, or how much people pay Paris Hilton to show up at various parties, to name just a few of them.

 

            While we debate WHETHER our troops are in the middle of a civil war, they don’t have the luxury of worrying about it. They have done everything we’ve asked of them to the best of their abilities. With very few exceptions, their performance has been exemplary. Abu Ghraib, and a few other criminal episodes, proves only that a few wackoffs slip through the screening process occasionally, not that our military personnel are social misfits.

 

            Unless war’s ravishes affect us first hand, it tends to be an abstract concept for most of us. Relative to the continental United States, wars have always been “over there.” Our concern for the troops, while genuinely sincere, is more clinical than personal. People who do not have loved ones directly in harm’s way have the luxury of being more philosophical about things. But, people who have loved ones on the front lines, “over there” might just as well be in their back yards. There’s nothing clinical about their concern, either. It’s personal and horrifying. Remember this the next time you hear a grieving soul ranting against a war.

 

            That’s it for now. I’ll be back next week. I’m really concerned over this feud between Rosie and Donald. Don’t even get me started about Paris, either.

 

Joseph Walther is a freelance writer and publisher of The True Facts. Copyright laws apply to all material on this site. Send your comments. Just click here.