A whole lot of jerkin' goin' on!

Jerks!
By Joseph Walther


Do you work for a jerk? Some people do, you know. I’m not talking about the run-of-the-mill kind of jerk that most employees complain about as a matter of routine. If you are a manager, some employees are going to classify you as a jerk no matter what you do. Get over it because it comes with the territory. No, I’m referring to real jerks. These are technically clueless people with industrial-size egos, the empathy of slugs, and the charisma of potholes. These people manage by manipulation and fear. They can elicit projectile vomiting just by walking into a room. They are not in the majority but it only takes one of them to damage morale beyond repair. Perhaps you are not sure if you work for this kind of person. Here are some clues.

First, this kind of jerk is in charge by direction. The direction comes from another jerk with similar personality traits, only with more authority. Such jerks do not know the difference between formal and informal authority, nor do they have any idea of the relationship between responsibility and authority. They always attempt to pee down people’s backs and tell them it’s raining; something that never works in the end.

Members of this crowd never learned that responsibility must be assumed, not delegated. We can delegate authority only. Great leaders also know that true authority is always informal. It results when peers and subordinates willingly follow. It’s authority born out of mutual respect. Good leaders always demonstrate leadership ability. No one needs to announce it. Whenever someone attempts to announce it, be leery. It’s a con and if it smells like urine, it’s not rain.

Second, this kind of jerk lacks mission passion. There is a lack of fundamental self-awareness. It never occurs to such people that others may have legitimate reasons for questions. It never occurs to such people that great ideas come from all directions and from all occupations. It never occurs to such people that “style” is the province of a follower destined to be forever average. It’s simply impossible for such people to break some of the unwritten rules. Process always trumps substance for such people. They are compulsive tidier-uppers, perpetually in need of a catastrophe and willing to climb any size molehill to solve a non-crisis.

Mediocrity abhors excellence in the same way that nature abhors a vacuum. Excellence makes mediocrity stand out like a swollen zit on a teenager’s forehead. The difference is that the teenager sees the zit and is mortified. The mediocre do not and continue to perpetuate the fact that ignorance is bliss. Fortunately, the teenager can relax. The zit will go away with maturity. For the rest of us, unfortunately, mediocrity will not. The jerks will always be jerks because they have no idea that they are jerks.

Third, jerks like this can speak coherently only from prepared manuscripts. They can voice opinions as long as someone else writes them, there is no need for animation, and there is a teleprompter nearby. Impromptu remarks, long or short, are the bane of such people. Such remarks are usually comprised of 50% stupidity fillers as, “ya know” and “um” and 50% mindless blather. Overall, these otherwise healthy adult bores continue to consume three and a half times their own weight in other people’s patience. They are the most superficially profound people you will ever know.

I know managers whose only skill consists of stretching undoubtedly thin, transparent talents over a seemingly interminable number of years. In both the private and public sectors, this seems to be sufficient more and more of the time. What makes this possible is the sponsorship of similarly gifted superiors and society’s willingness to put up with it.

Give it some thought. Follow your gut feelings. Do you feel that your boss is a foul ball or perhaps a called third strike in the baseball game of life or maybe a miscue in the pool game of life? These are jerks. Make no mistake about it. Whether we classify them as shanked nine irons on the eighteenth fairway of life or seven-ten splits in the tenth bowling frame of life, they are losers who are ruining our lives.

If you want local proof, just tune into local talk radio, your state General Assembly, school boards, as well as secondary and post secondary academic administrations. On the national level, listen in on FOX News, CNN, MSNBC, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, or Air America Radio. These entities should terrify you. For the ultimate in terror, however, nothing beats the United States Congress.

Have a great Halloween. I hope the Great Pumpkin brings you everything you’ve asked for.

Joseph Walther is a freelance writer and publisher of The True Facts. Send email to: publisher@thetruefacts.com