What filth!

My God, That’s Filthy
By Joseph Walther


As shocking as it seems, gloom and doom are in the headlines again. First, there have been an unusually high number of suicide bombings in Iraq because of the upcoming constitutional referendum vote. Second, Pakistan experienced a devastating earthquake that has killed an estimated 18,000 people so far. Third, George Bush, holding to his usual “ready-fire-aim” mentality, nominated Harriet Miers to fill a vacancy on the United States Supreme Court, thus sending conservative backers into catatonic states. Finally, New York City’s mayor placed the city’s subway system on red alert, simultaneously flipping the symbolic bird to the Feds, by publicizing a credible terrorist threat.

Make no mistake about it; this stuff is important to all of us. I have no desire to minimize its impact. However, it pales considerably when compared to an event that reared its ugly head this past week. Trust me on this. If what the nuns told me about masturbation is true, this is something so vile and morally reprehensible that male blindness could increase exponentially. By some accounts, civilization’s very survival may be at stake. Get thee on thy knees and pray for guidance, heathens. The new Victoria’s Secret Lingerie display was unveiled at a Virginia mall! Prepare yourselves. It’s coming to New Castle County’s Concord Mall next February.

The News Journal immediately created an online poll to deal with this issue. The polls run on line for twenty-four hour periods and, of course, are statistically useless. If you read the “Our View” section of the paper, you now know where they get their views. Here are the results of the poll as of 3:00 AM on 10/7/05.

Poll question: Would you stop shopping at a mall because of a racy lingerie display?

Yes
67 responses
10.3%

No
487 responses
75.0%

Would shop more
95 responses
14.7%

Totals
649 responses
100.0%

I am part of the 14.7% and I’m proud of it. So there!

According to a Washington Post article, the crux of the complaints seems centered around the scantily clad mannequins in various “suggestive” poses. Tysons mall management claims that mall customers have lodged “many” complaints. This seems strange in light of the store’s sales receipts since unveiling the display. The accounting figures show a brisk business to say the least. However, Tysons may use a different definition for the term, many, than the rest of us.

Mall customers walking past Victoria’s Secret expressed a range of emotions. One man said, “I’ve been shopping here for 10 years, and I won’t come back until they change that window.” Of course, I’m not sure whether “here” means Victoria’s Secret or the mall. Another shopper said, “I’ve been walking the mall for nine years. This is shocking. This is semi-pornographic. This is insulting.” She said that she had three grown children. A 40-year-old mother said, “My 13-year old daughter is going to come here and shop for a bra? Come on. I’m appalled. That’s like sending her to a street with a strip joint. Is this the kind of message we want to send to our children, that this is what they should look like?”

On the affirmative side, another woman said, “I love it. I like the dark side of Vicky’s. Every woman has a little dark side in her. They can do this. The mannequins aren’t real. I have a husband and I know he would love this. This is what keeps you happily married.”

Let me say a few things about these comments. Mannequins are things, not humans. They can’t suggest anything. Humans do all of the inferring and implying. Somehow, I cannot get myself worked up into a sexual frenzy over molded paper machete donning cheap wigs and clad in panties and garter belts. If the implications from viewing these things are “dirty” thoughts, then they are dirty thoughts originating in your own mind. Blame your own sexual repression, not Victoria’s secret.

As for the display being “semi-pornographic”, the woman needs to be more specific. I saw the window display. It consisted of five not very convincing mannequins clad in bras, nylons, thong panties and garter belts, and the nastiest wigs I have ever seen. Besides, what in the dickens is “semi-pornographic? There is nothing semi about pornography. If whatever makes an image pornographic is present, then the image is pornographic. Even the Supreme Court of the United States can’t absolutely define this.

The woman concerned about sending her 13-year old daughter to a street with a strip joint needs to revamp her thinking. Whether her daughter visits a strip joint will ultimately depend on the level of her curiosity. The louder mom screams in opposition, the more intense will be the daughter’s curiosity. I am a bit confused with respect to the message she thinks we are sending to our children. I never encouraged my daughter to “look like this” in public. However, there is nothing wrong with it in the privacy of a bedroom with a committed partner. But for God’s sake, don’t be so mannequinest about it and lose the hideous wig.

This is a case where mother and 13-year old daughter should be shopping at the mall together. I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts that the 13-year old already understands that “looking like this” is not appropriate in public. She’d probably be mortified to find out that mom thinks she’s too stupid to figure it out. Mom should talk to her daughter about this stuff. I’ll bet that daughter would be more than willing to explain things to her in clear, simple terms that she can understand.

We have more sex hang-ups in this country than Carter—of Carter Little Liver Pills fame— has pills. Sex under the proper circumstances is supposed to be fun. Nature intended it to feel good so that we’d do it and perpetuate our species. Let’s stop all of the foolishness over who’s sleeping with whom and what they’re wearing. We have people in this world killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend. With all of the legitimate guilt in our lives, we don’t need to create more over Victoria’s Secret. Again, they are just molded paper machete figurines clad in women’s underwear. Any deprivation you find in this is the result of your own repressed, filthy thoughts. Get a life, for goodness sake.

Another matter, though indirectly related…

The Intelligent Design folks are in the news again. They’re still trying to get some judge to say it’s all right to teach Intelligent Design along side of Evolution in Biology classes. I intend to write more on this in later issues. For now, though, I am developing some core classes that should be included in any self-respecting Intelligent Design Program.

Here are a few that I have in the development stages.

Theological Physics
Scriptural Biology
Miraculous Anatomy and Physiology
Divine Chemistry

I will be sharing a synopsis of each of these core courses with you readers as part of future columns.

Have a great week and be on the lookout for my new website, www.thetruefacts.com.

Joseph Walther is a freelance writer and publisher of The True Facts. Send email to: publisher@thetruefacts.com